My heart is hurt – what then?
An arrow hit me in the heart
Consciously or unconsciously fired by someone. It was a direct hit! Right in the middle of my sore spot. Feelings of loneliness, fear, anger and shame show up. The reflex: counterattack! Open the arsenal and shoot down all torpedoes? Or would you rather suppress my feelings and turn inward? Neither option is really helpful and constructive. What remains is, in both cases – depending on the extent – a certain degree of destruction, pain and mistrust.
The confrontation with fragility belongs to human existence.
But how is my inner handling of my pain and the injuries that occur in my life?
Do I retreat to the Cave of Pain? Do I encapsulate myself and become so inaccessible to the thoughts of love and forgiveness? Can I even cling to it, as to a precious treasure? Or perhaps I use it all to exercise power over the one who hurt me? A dangerous way! Because that’s how I destroy my happiness. When I give the negative mode permission to take control, much becomes destructive.
The fact is, among other things, that the messenger substances that my brain then releases gradually poison my body and my psyche. I tend to be grudging, sensitive, hostile, angry, anxious, depressed, hardened, embittered. A life of want will almost certainly be the result – not a place where there is real life, beauty and freedom! And it is certainly a way that leads to the impasse!
Alexander Batthyány writes about this in his book
The overcoming of indifference: Anyone who, due to a past grief, shuts himself off from the possibility that a full repertoire of valuable, wholesome and good experiences and actions is waiting for him, not only closes himself to those who are still experiencing them, but also to himself as the experiencer and actor he is could and should be. He takes himself and his life the chance to incorporate experiences and actions in his life balance, which could lead to a balance between the suffered and the good and the salutary and meaningful. In other words, he creates certainties and sets himself up in these certainties – here the certainty that the world must be a bad and hostile place if it has so far required him so much. He thus creates a home just where no human wants home:
There is a way back to the fullness and joy of life!
This happens above all through the knowledge that I am infinitely and unconditionally loved by God – and through forgiveness! For those who may be struggling, Sr. Usha’s so-called ” Four Steps to Forgiveness ” can be of great help. The deeper an injury is, the more forgiveness is needed to truly be free. Only she breaks the vicious cycle of aggression and revenge. It takes the realization that forgiveness is rational and it requires an inner willingness to forgive. So I can decide that the injury is no longer a destructive power and has control over me, but that love and forgiveness win in me. A path to healing and freedom!
Man is free to choose his action. And he becomes what he does!
Despite painful experiences, every person is called to make something great and beautiful out of his inner life out of an inner freedom . Everyone is encouraged to find and fulfill the purpose of their lives. Where am I perhaps still bound to experiences that want to rob me of this freedom?