And then comes the everyday life …
How can we prevent the fire of “first love” from extinguishing? What really holds marriages together and what makes them fail?
Being in love is a dream, marrying is heavenly … and then everyday life comes along; and all our butterflies disappear in the stomach, the lightness of being becomes less and less perceptible.
There is no magic recipe
Each person is unique by his experience and influence, so every marriage is unique. However, we can certainly learn from successful marriages and also from those couples who have a hard time, because often things are similar to what happens to us.
To spend too little exclusive time together is the biggest danger.
When was the last time they had a really nice evening for two with conversation, laughter, tears of joy and perhaps as a coronation of which they were still “active” in the bedroom for a long time? Do not believe the doubting voices that want to tell them that these times are long gone. And even if … you can reactivate it !! Men, get active and think about what you can make your women a joy: a bunch of flowers, a cinema visit with food, an exotic restaurant test, hiking trip, wine tasting, the list could be extended endlessly. It is important that the woman realizes: he likes to do it and he does it for her! And do you really like to do it without selfish ulterior motives, because your wife would notice immediately, if it were not so …
Why men should become active first?
Simple: Men make it manly and happy to make others happy, and they have enough courage to try something new. You women, remember: men also need distance! Just let him go alone around the houses with his homies or Bro’s. Trust him: it is often much more harmless than women fear. Next time, his whole attention is much safer.
Partnership immaturity: to be loved without reciprocating the love.
I love to be loved, enjoy the attention, but I do not give anything because I distrust the cause.
Why can love not stay as beautiful as in the beginning ?! Can I still trust despite so many disappointments? Can I let myself go emotionally and give myself away with it? Do not I have to worry about losing everything again?
It does not matter how much I “reveal” about myself, but how, like a child, I can trust my partner. No matter what has happened. If there is something in the space between us, which prevents us from opening up completely and making us vulnerable, then it is important to name it and to consciously work on it to make it shrink or disappear. With or without partner, with or without therapy. The goal is to stabilize the inner relationship to oneself and each other through more openness and trust.
Being married has never been a guarantee for a successful partnership .
Love life helps you learn how to do it anyway.