The dominant function of the ESFJ is extraverted feeling. His second function is introverted feeling.
ESFJs are relationship people. They need society, and society needs them. Carefully and conscientiously they perform all the roles that society gives them. In this sense, they are exemplary children, students, mothers, fathers, wives, husbands, work colleagues, friends, parishioners, etc. They willingly return their own needs to fulfill the wishes of others. In this sense, they are similar to the ENFJ. From this they differ by their second function – the introverted feeling. Unlike intuitive ENFJs who focus on promoting the potential of their protégés and putting them on the right path, ESFJs are more concerned with meeting specific needs in the given circumstances.
In each group to which they belong they make their contribution. Her calendar is fully booked with appointments and assignments that reflect her commitment and responsibility to her community on a large and small scale. While the sense of responsibility for the community follows at ESTJs from logic, this arises in ESFJs from their personal relationships within their community and the expectations of their community to the attendant obligations.
They are anxious to be an exemplary example of the role assumed in every respect. With these criteria, however, they also examine the behavior of their fellow human beings.
They are also very interested in fulfilling the expectations placed on them in all areas. So they dress according to the current fashion, the decor of their house meets generally accepted standards, and during their public appearances, they are careful to choose the appropriate topic of conversation.
They are traditionally connected. They take family celebrations, birthdays and celebrations very seriously, accordingly they feel hurt when other people do not show the behavior associated with such social events. Therefore, a bouquet not sent on time to Mother’s Day on the part of an ESFJ can provoke the worst fears and even be interpreted as a signal for a bad relationship quality.
ESFJ also demand from their fellow human beings to adhere to the values recognized as right. When others do not show the right behavior, ESFJs usually express their displeasure clearly. If they pay too little attention to their own perception, they find it difficult to tolerate behavior deviating from general group expectations. As they strive for harmonious relationships and cooperation in the community, ESFJs see such endeavors as a threat to community cohesion. They often arrive at positions that enable them to work towards social order.
ESFJ perform their tasks in a structured and routine manner and tend to maintain good practice. They have a good eye for details and quickly realize what’s up. In doing so, they are primarily concerned with helping others to meet their needs. They have a high work ethic and are only after completion of all duties willing to take a break.
ESFJs strive for security and stability in their everyday lives. They are more hostile to hesitant about new developments. Abstract theories without recognizable application for their social obligations, they can gain nothing.
If ESFJs are not sure of their assigned role or desired behavior in a normally deviant situation, they tend to exchange views in the groups concerned in order to resolve this conflict through consensus. Accordingly, ESFJs in companies are very good team workers who are adept at attracting other people to solve open problems.
ESFJs rely on feedback from the people they support. Indifferent behavior offends her. They are usually sensitive to criticism and consider it as a rejection of their person. It is difficult for them to examine the criticism impersonally for their logical justification. Therefore, they tend to defend themselves by, for example, listing what they have done in the past or accusing the critic of being ungrateful. Sometimes they get rid of criticism by discrediting the critic himself.
The ESFJ’s skills are in keeping with the traditional image of women in our culture. ESFJ women are therefore mostly very feminine. At the same time, their weaknesses and strengths often serve as models for stereotypical gender roles in the media. On the other hand, a male ESFJ usually feels a conflict between the socially dominant notion of masculinity and its aspiration for harmony.
Many ESFJs rely almost exclusively on the external value system of their social class. Problems arise for ESFJs in social groups whose values are in conflict with personal insights. ESFJs tend to hide incidents that do not match the standard of their group. When ESFJs close their own perceptions to protect their group’s value system, they tend to attribute the issues of their loyalty conflict to other people and circumstances outside themselves. Accordingly, there is a danger that such an ESFJ will try to manipulate other people and urge them to behave in conformity. Not least, this is reflected in well-meaning advice to representatives of other opinions, but also in increased control of deviants,
Greater problems arise for ESFJs from the reorientation of our society – away from generally recognized roles and values that apply to all – to the orientation towards the will and the opinion of the individual. If ESFJs grew up with a stable value system, mediated by parents and school, their external value orientation hardly causes any problems. However, ESFJs, who have not been taught a stable system of values in their families of origin, run the risk of uncritically linking questionable values and uncritically joining appropriate groups that support their views.
Because ESFJs are eager to track other people’s reactions and share their observations and opinions with other members of their group, they find it difficult to determine to what extent their actions are consistent with their own feelings. Many ESFJs are barely able to form their own opinions without involving others. The more they dictate their values from the outside, the less they feel what is actually going on in them.
ESFJs must be careful not to deny their own perception. Relying on their own experiences, they are forced to acknowledge existing conflicts between the shared values they represent and the sad everyday reality. By confessing their consternation to themselves and others, they will not solve this dilemma, but they do reveal their humanity to others. By honestly behaving and acknowledging their weaknesses, they recognize their true friends and gain new ones, who actually assist them even in hard times and love them as the people they really are.