Jealousy. How to get rid of jealousy?
We are all owners by nature. We want to own things and people. Possessing (or having) is normal quality, neither good nor bad. But when this ability shifts from the golden mean to extremes, troubles and problems begin.
With regard to objects – it is poverty and, conversely, an obsessive desire to accumulate. And to people one of the manifestations is jealousy or the words of the classic “don’t you get to anyone.”
Got a big moment? Jealousy often arises where it is completely or partially impossible to manage your property: money, real estate, work affairs.
If one examines a person who is jealous, he will most likely find a chronic lack of money or, as an opposite, their irrepressible accumulation, stinginess and greed even to himself, inability to complete household and work affairs, accusing others of their inability to earn and live comfortably. Probably object that similar qualities, to a lesser or greater extent, can be found on everyone. And you can not go wrong!
Here are two things:
- someone, not wanting to change anything, continues to suffer from the inability to be the master of his life, and someone – is looking for the cause and evens out the situation,
- all that is said above is pushed to the thought: to the question “how to get rid of jealousy?” do not look for an answer only in relationships, family and love. Look wider and deeper! First of all, in yourself.
What is jealousy?
Jealousy is the doubt of someone’s love, devotion, suspicion of infidelity, affection.
Jealousy is a painful feeling:
- that someone is loved more than me
- someone pay more attention than me.
Feel what smells? The one who is jealous always “pulls the blanket over himself” – he demands attention and love for himself more and more.
One of the translations of the word “jealousy” is a strong hunger. Instead of learning how to cook yourself, that is, in our case, to develop in oneself love and care for others – a jealous man seeks to satisfy his “hunger” with someone else’s love.
Here we smoothly move on to another reason for feeling jealous – this is a distorted self-esteem: both low and high. If a person soberly and adequately assesses his strength – jealousy has nothing to grow. Here the person will work to improve his ability to love and be responsible for the other.
Perverted self-esteem always has pitfalls:
- fear of being worse than others
- an obsessive desire to constantly prove that “I am the best”,
- fear of being alone
- fear of being left with nothing: “Who then will solve my problems? Do everything instead of me? ”
Do you understand what I’m leading to? For a flash of jealousy do not need real reasons, such as treason.
The causes of jealousy are already laid in the subconscious – therefore, anyone who is jealous will always find reasons for jealousy, most often where there are none! Will even be jealous of the post.
Another additional manifestation of jealousy is surely familiar – this is an irrepressible desire to control a jealous object. “Where are you? When will you be? Why linger? Who are you with now? ”There is the same fear of loneliness, a sense of uselessness and problems of self-esteem. Total control gives the illusion of stability in relationships. This blind confidence in his management completely cuts off particles of common sense – at least to think about the fact that no one can be controlled, on the contrary – this is a sure way to push a person irrevocably away.
So, what have we come to
What are the causes of jealousy?
- false self-esteem
- weak ability to possess things, objects and situations, calmly and comfortably overcome any obstacles and manage your life,
- fear of loneliness and loss
- lack of self-love and confidence.
Of course, there are more reasons for jealousy. Each person is individual, and the intersection of personal qualities and beliefs in the inner world gives rise to their own prerequisites.
How to get rid of jealousy?
Before you rush into battle with a partner in a relationship or with yourself, give yourself a break – a time gap in order to accept the fact that jealousy is always a consequence of personal inner negative.
- Say to yourself “yes, I am jealous, and accept my jealousy as it is, without blaming anyone and not pursuing”.
- Only after accepting your jealousy ask yourself the question: “I am jealous because … what?” Trust the first answers to come to mind without hesitation. Trust the heart, not the logic.
- Having understood why you need jealousy, its benefits and benefits for you, think: “How important is it now for me, an adult sane person, what I want to get or stop with jealousy?”
- And finally: “What is more important for me: jealous or the presence of a loved one? Who do I want to end up with: with my overwhelmed ego or with love? ”
Do not hope that get rid of jealousy get easily and quickly. This is hard work on yourself. But believe me, the result is worth it!
Loving, caring and taking responsibility for the person dear to the heart is a truly pleasant and warm feeling. Do not betray it and do not exchange for false substitutes.
Jealous means loves … only loves himself, selfishly and stubbornly. You are different. You are different. Under a thick layer of jealousy lives love. Give her a chance …