How the zodiac signs get married! Check, it seems_There are all kinds of men at least once, but every woman was burned! In modern society, one can increasingly hear the opinion that the stamp in the passport is not at all the most important … And that it is not necessary to marry, most importantly, to love. However, this opinion is expressed for the time being, the older a woman becomes, the more she wants to protect herself.

Of course, women in love are stupid, but nevertheless love is love, and when in the registry office? Therefore, we publish instructions for girls – what to expect from men born under different Zodiac signs.

Capricorn

CAPRICORN

Capricorns are reluctant to get married. Rather, they marry willingly, but only if the future spouse has two mutually exclusive qualities, namely: 1) every five minutes, determines whether the chosen one is hungry and puts on a hat; 2) does not ask unnecessary questions, because the Head of the Family himself knows when to put on a hat. Since there are almost no such girls in wildlife, Capricorns can live for years, fooling their common-law wife that they need to fold their socks so that the heel looks at the left side of the laundry box.

Aquarius

AQUARIUS

Only a woman who is even crazier than Aquarius himself can drive Aquarius into the registry office. And to be an even more fucking creature than a Aquarius man is a non-trivial task. Accordingly, the only chance for mentally balanced women is to pump acting to the level of “God” and to feed my beloved with cute surprises all my life, such as “I’m sitting on the roof, the night is suffocating, and I help her breathe.” Anyone else would call a psychiatric ambulance, but Aquarius falls in awe and buys a ring.

Fish

FISH

Male Fish live in the registry office. They like to marry, all the more so because they are sure this time for sure for life. At the same time, four ex-wives simultaneously say “buhag”. In general, you don’t have to drag Pisces to the registry office – they are able to make an offer already in the first week of acquaintance. It is much more difficult to calculate the coefficient of maturity of this marriage.

It may be zero, but Pisces men can persuade. And at the first acquaintance, they look great to that very Prince. But if this particular Fish was married less than two times, then you can take a chance. Suddenly and truly Prince.

Aries

ARIES

Marrying Aries is pretty easy. If you know a magic spell: “dear, I won’t cheat on you, but you cheat on me as much as you want, these little things don’t soar at all to me”. And Aries immediately realizes that he has met his ideal. In principle, many other signs would also not refuse this generous offer, but they are initially shy and say: “no, no, love, you cho.” And Aries will not be shy. He is not like that.

calf

CALF

You’re a virgin? No? Well you, lady, are so inaccurate, now I’ll call you a taxi … Well, okay, not really like that. But, ideally, a virgin. And she knew how to make pies. And sing songs when washing dishes. In general, at first glance, Taurus is not worth it to want to marry him. But practice shows that, having married, Taurus buy dishwashers, and there it’s not difficult to sing, damn it.

Twins

TWINS

More than anything, the twins cannot stand the boredom. Accordingly, you need to dance from this. To begin with, we drop the position of a boring wealthy director and go to skydiving and beadwork courses. As soon as you learn to weave baubles during the flight – your twin. But you just have to scold him for some existential stamp, like scattered socks, the Twin is not yours again. So the only way to the registry office is not to find a balance between the parachute and socks, but to shift the vector away from the socks.

Cancer

CANCER

The best way to get Cancer to the registry office is to kidnap his whole family and send tiny bloodied phalanges of their fingers once a week, until the desperate Cancer understands that he simply has no other choice. Another way is to wait twenty to thirty years until he grows old and, again, comes to the conclusion that he has no other choice. But the phalanges are definitely more fun.

a lion

A LION

To marry Leo is both very simple and completely impossible. In order to marry Leo you need to shut up. It’s a simple action, but you’re a girl, it bears you. But Leo needs to sit quietly and shine exclusively on command. And to be beautiful. This is a prerequisite. I sat so quiet in the corner and admired. Who managed – he received a jackpot. And the inferiority complex.

Virgo

VIRGO

Virgo husbands are considered top husbands out of twelve possible options. But, God, how can he get you on the road … Tediousness – it’s really useful for a family hearth, you can’t figure it out without tediousness with a fireplace, I’m silent about changing drivers. But with exactly the same tedium, he can test for years – are you worth it or did it seem? For years and every day. So you’ll have to smile, and not scandal, and a vacuum cleaner, and even shave your legs. Everyday.

Libra

LIBRA

But Libra is a hare. With Libra it’s simple – if you suit him, he will not cheat you. Libra is generally quite bold creatures and they are not at all afraid of any registry offices there. No, of course, Libra – sybarites and gourmets, and the requirements for the future wife are set a little higher than the Burj Khalifa, but if he does not ask you to cross the street when he accidentally meets friends, then you are already good.

Scorpio

SCORPIO

Scorpio will have to go through the standard marriage ritual “I don’t want to get married at all.” A scorpion, at the same time, will gaze suspiciously at your face – is it indifferent enough? Justifiably suspecting that this is a trap.

Scorpios love to live to the fullest, and in married people the coil noticeably loses weight. Therefore, Scorpio marries only if he is one hundred percent sure that this is his own decision.
Of course, yours, baby, but I don’t want to get married at all.

Sagittarius

SAGITTARIUS

Sagittarius believe that the body is the temple of the soul, so the body of the chosen one should be in order. Which order Sagittarius prefers is usually painted in glossy magazines. Has the fashion started at full? So you can not lose weight. However, appearance is a matter … well, not the tenth. But the second.

The bestseller of “trap for Sagittarius” is to never call him with the text: “why didn’t you call back?”. If Sagittarius feels free, he is happy and ready for matrimonial feats. And the fact that this is the Matrix, but in fact it lies, clogged with tubes, in a capsule with pink phosphorescent liquid – so we will not tell anyone.

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