Bastards on zodiac signs. Female look at men CONTINUATIONBastards on zodiac signs. Female look at men)) Continuation. We present to your attention a female look at what men are bastards according to their zodiac sign. We immediately warn that the characteristic is not flattering.
Particularly nervous men are not recommended to read!

Let’s take this horoscope in a comic manner, but not seriously. Read the first part of the article here.

Libra (24.09 to 23.10)

Poor confused bastard. He is not to blame for anything. In the modern world, life is becoming more and more complex, more and more decisions have to be made. Now every morning you need to make a choice between gel and hair styling mousse. Incredible stress!
Now imagine what kind of tension the bastard Libra is in when she decides whether to invite you on a date. And suddenly, having decided nevertheless on this, he will understand that, in fact, he loves you and wants to see you again? But what if the next time he likes you even more? Then he will want to see you constantly. Most likely, this will entail serious obligations – such as marriage and children. Meanwhile, he still does not know where to take the family on vacation and to which school to send the boys.

And suddenly, marrying you, he will understand that you are not at all the love of his life? And what do you command him to do when he truly meets his true love? But what if he does not invite you on a date, and then guesses that you are the woman of his dreams? Then all his life he will be tormented by the thought that he missed you. Well, maybe he should invite you just like that, just in case? But, probably, it’s better to refrain from daily meetings with the woman of your dreams – otherwise everything will become mundane and completely lose romance. Yes, one more thing should be considered: what if he invites you and you refuse?

It is strange that Libra generally has a personal relationship. However, the bastard Libra always meets with someone or is on the verge of a new novel. So he wanders from one mesalliance to another, increasing the statistics of divorces. (The scoundrels of Libra are guilty of seven out of ten failed marriages. The remaining three are usually implicated by the scumbags of Pisces).

Libra constantly hopes to meet a good girl, a life partner, ready to make decisions for them . And even if such one is never found, the bastard Libra will live with the conviction that somewhere better there is a better person than you. I am sincerely sorry that he is not able to just go and look for her. After all, they can attack him right away, which would save you from having to endure this subject, whose overloaded mind is aimed only at your shortcomings.

He has a lot of cause for concern. Of course, he never talks about his worries aloud. But you yourself will understand: something is amiss. You realize that the physical parameters are not like a girl in a swimsuit from the cover of a glossy magazine. You will guess that this does not please him at all. On the other hand, you will at least never have to strain when answering Libra’s questions about your decency, moral principles or beliefs dear to your heart. Your own tasks and intentions do not bother him at all. Say, if the bastard Libra was a pool, then no one would find a deep place there. What only worries him is how you look, how you say, how you are dressed and how you move.

Here, for example, what interests him: all of a sudden, will you grow thin over the years? And when you are thirty-five, will your light curls be just as good? Will you get fat over the next fifty years? Will your voice become raspy? Maybe more often do epilation? But is this pink varnish on your feet suitable for your dress? And the dress itself – is it sitting well on you? Maybe it’s too narrow? Maybe because of him your ass seems bigger? Or maybe your ass is too big? And what is it on her – cellulite?

In addition, it is likely that during a meeting with him you will meet a lonely supermodel, so decent that she does not cost anything to repulse a man from another woman. You can meet a group of beauties who came to the Miss Universe contest, and a full bus of sixteen-year-old schoolgirls who would happily surround your companion if you were not nearby.It is not surprising that with such weighty arguments, Libra will need a lot of time to make at least some decision. Of course, you can take control of the situation (this is exactly what women and bastards Libra do while they are young and they are not sorry to waste a lot of time). And the bastard Libra takes it for granted, since such a course of affairs allows him to delay the decision about your person. The fact that he meets with you, lives under one roof or even marries you, does not mean anything. Thus, he simply postpones the decision. When he really understands that he does not want to meet with you, and leaves, this will surprise you somewhat. However, he will choose the time impeccably. The bastard of Libra will abandon you at the very moment when you can realize this.

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Just don’t be upset – you don’t have to yearn for him when he leaves you. He will nevertheless return and will continue to monitor your appearance, if you allow him (he, after all, has not decided finally what to do with you). The bastard Libra, as before, will sleep with you – if you will allow it, and whine because of all the problems that he had with a new, very young girlfriend – if you allow it. Basically, all the complaints will come down to her careless behavior and torment about what to wear to her school graduation ball. (In this situation, his actions will make you understand exactly how he acted, again converging with his previous passions during your novel).

Tip: if you are a mature lady with several billion dollars, we know from a reliable source that the bastards Libra are perfect for the role of boys for leisure.

If you threw it

As soon as the ink dries on your letter sent to the “dear” (you must insert your boyfriend’s name here), the bastard Libra will have time to settle down with another partner. You may be furious at how quickly he forgot you. However, now you will understand that it is impossible to take it seriously.

bastards on zodiac signs6

Scorpio (24.10 to 22.11)

Scorpions – gloomy, brooding, laconic types with square chins and piercing glances – inhabit the pages of cheap romance novels. The plot is known to you: a guy gets acquainted with a girl. A guy torments a girl because of a series of completely stupid misunderstandings, because he enjoys it. The psyche of the girl does not stand. The guy squeezes her in his arms and mutters something about love to the grave. He simply has to squeeze her in his arms, because the next second the poor woman will collapse like a mowed man.

This ends the book. And for such a finale there is a very reasonable basis. The publisher knows that further actions are too terrible and their description is not subject to publication.

Perfect paper-bound love still dominates the minds of most of the female population. We cannot resist a strong, silent and domineering man. Gracefully sitting on chests with a dowry, with her long, charmingly disheveled brown hair, fluttering eyelashes and not breathing, we expect Scorpio to burst into our lives.

Romantic heroes never walk – they always burst in, decisively and purposefully, this fatally bores them – that’s why they are so gloomy and irritable.

And what happens to the bastard Scorpio? In truth, the beginning is not at all connected with the fact that he is tearing apart your cute old-fashioned dress. Gracefully faint in the arms of Scorpio and let continue to do as you wish. Then carefully check your head. A strong and silent object you should look for when buying large-sized household appliances. It is these characteristics that a washing machine should have, but not a person. We assure you: you are unlikely to be delighted with such qualities of Scorpio.

Yes, he is strong. Much stronger than you. So, in a fight, you lose to him. Yes, he is silent. This means that communication during your romance will be somewhat strange and one-sided. Withholding information is one of his favorite pastimes. Mainly because it upsets you.

What did you expect? Any person who is considered gloomy and thoughtful will never become truly open, caring and attentive. Scorpio has a dark side, and in comparison with him, Count Dracula seems like a cute Kolobok. You will cause his displeasure until the end of your days, only your demise will calm him a little.

However, you will never guess what annoys Scorpio. For example, at a corporate party on the occasion of the New Year, you harmlessly flirt with his colleague. It won’t even occur to you that Scorpio doesn’t like it until one fine day three years later, he will take revenge on you by sleeping with your bridesmaid and your sister – and only a few hours before your wedding. Scorpio will wait – if necessary for decades – for a suitable opportunity to take revenge when you do not suspect anything.

A constant feeling that you are unhappy will mean true love for you. All this is so romantic. You will even be flattered by his possessive habits (although he forbade you to go anywhere or meet with someone), since they mean that he cannot exist without you. But Scorpio cannot exist with you as long as you independently think and behave as you are used to. Do not worry: soon you will not be capable of it.

Scorpio will manipulate you until you become what he needs. Then he will cease to respect you, as you easily succumb to his influence. Then he will search for another person who could be changed in his own way. It is at this stage that you should also look for another person – a psychiatrist with a good reputation. In the process of your attempts, Scorpio will suddenly become a model of cordiality and courtesy. He will even show kindness to animals (typical behavior for all romantic heroes should make you believe that he has a gentle and sensitive nature). Do not be fooled. This is just part of his rude game, allowing him to amuse yourself with your sanity and mental health. His goal is to destroy you. However, he can inspire you with the idea that he’s not capable of such things,

He will probably tell you. This is what Scorpio does best. In addition, it is in this way that he likes to spend his free time. When you turn into a bunch of fragments on the floor, Scorpio will collect them and glue them, then to start all over again.

He takes his leisure time very seriously; After all, leisure allows him to enjoy for hours and use his destructive abilities. And you too can benefit from this for yourself. Thanks to Scorpio’s lifelong obsession, you will have a hobby: the worse he treats you, the more you will love him. Why this happens, we do not know. It is worth recalling that you spend all your free time on expensive treatment courses in twelve stages, intensively discussing your problems with a psychoanalyst.

Sign up for group therapy as soon as you realize that you are saddened by his betrayal. In fact, this is not your business at all. You are only the wife of Scorpio, the mother of his children. In any case, you will soon meet his last passion – she will join your group, discovering that he did the same to her as you did. And then you and her can calm each other by talking about your stupidity. For a couple, join the Community for Supporting Painfully Lovers and Influenced Women Who Met with Scorpio.

You will not be a winner. You will never win. Scorpio will not allow this. And you cannot leave him — he will not allow this either. All that is in your power is to continue to visit a psychotherapist and engage in self-discipline. After all, you are a crazy, dependent person, designed for sadistic bastards.

Tip: even if after reading this chapter you, as before, want to try to have an affair with Scorpio, go to an overloaded highway and rush under the wheels of a huge truck. You will experience the same sensations as in a relationship with the bastard Scorpio, but less painful.

If he left you

Your attempt at revenge will only amuse the Scorpio, as your actions betray you as an amateur. In addition, he will be flattered that he still controls your feelings and thoughts. On the other hand, running after him and behaving like a jerk, you will only give him the opportunity to wipe his feet about you. Do not waste your energy. You will need them in the next few years to undergo treatment.

If you threw it

He will survive it. However, if Scorpio decides that you neglected it, you need to take additional precautions and be more careful in the next ten or twenty years, at least.

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Sagittarius (23.11 to 21.12)

Sagittarius does the opposite. He speaks before he thinks, jumps before he looks, and loves you only after you leave him. That is why people are absolutely right in considering Sagittarius a lucky bastard. Only by miracle can you explain that you still have not killed him. It is extremely successful that his other friends did not. And it is absolutely fantastic that real astrologers still manage to speak kindly of Sagittarius, harassing entire rainforests for this lesson.

In ancient times, philosophers were comforted by this saying: ” I think, therefore, I am not Sagittarius .” Partly due to the time and the spread of the human rights movement of those who were born under the sign of Pisces and who do not suffer any oppression, the phrase has gradually lost its original meaning, and now Sagittarius does not even have a clue what it meant.

Undoubtedly, the wise men of earlier times only meant that the bastard Sagittarius rushed headlong into monstrously awkward situations and did not bother to think twice, because it was rather difficult for him to think.

Thus, scientists and ladies, most likely, had in mind the fact that Sagittarius’s brains do not keep up with his actions, but when they still manage to get in time, Sagittarius immediately does all the inside out. In a perfect world, your father, infuriated and armed with a revolver, would make an impulsive subject live with you, support you and, of course, marry “by mistake”. However, we live in a real world, but in reality Sagittarius runs uncontrollably, fertilizing young girls and throwing them for the sake of other young girls, who are also impregnating, never looking back with longing and not getting a single bullet in the forehead.

And much more than herpes, which mysteriously appears soon in you, it annoys Sagittarius that everything begins with scenes when he rushes to your feet and begs to make him your slave. But under the spoon you felt a warm, vague sensation, usually called love, ulcer or morning sickness, and his trace disappeared.

This does not happen at all because you are not the love of his life – you should not think about it incorrectly. Just now, bothering to think about your relationship, Sagittarius nevertheless realized that the current problems are related to the fact that you, a black-skinned feminist with radical views, are mountaineering, and he, a white nationalist of moderate views, is afraid of great heights.

The blind reluctance of the bastard Sagittarius to look ahead and give up something would be understandable (now you already realized what you lost, and do not feel any regret), if he had not rashly blamed you for declaring everything as if you were confusing his head.

Frankly, all of the above easily allows Sagittarius to commit adultery, without experiencing the slightest feeling of guilt, an ordinary companion of a similar situation.

To say that Sagittarius is afraid of monogamy with all his gut is the same as saying that Salman Rushdy is a little worried about the thought of death. In fact, moronic advertisers should receive a state pension from the money they earned during countless campaigns for the glory of safe sex, because they are intended exclusively for the girlfriends of the bastard Sagittarius. (The original slogan: “Fear Sagittarius like the plague — otherwise you will make a lot of trouble” – had to be abandoned even at the stage of researching the target audience, as the Scorpio men complained of undisguised partiality).

It’s time to frankly admit: the honesty of the bastard Sagittarius is a very special topic. If he sleeps with someone, he will definitely inform you about it. With painful details. When you gently hint that you don’t want to know who and where you put your hand in, he will give a blunder in full, blurt out that actually all this is not worth a damn and that was not a hand at all, but … (Here you can with good reason from all over the mahaha hit him in the face, simultaneously knocking out his teeth.)

And here we come to the next point. If you’re so smart, why the hell do you meet Sagittarius? Just don’t say that he is very generous.

Yes, Sagittarius just as wastefully litter money, as well as his seed. However, this is not generosity, but financial mess. Having squandered his money and his relatives, he will take over yours. When there is nothing left of your capital, Sagittarius will spend the funds of other girlfriends. Then, bank deposits, loans and usurious loans will be used.

Again, Sagittarius will not be at all to blame when, over time, the Supreme Court begins to consider claims filed against him for bankruptcy, embezzlement or fraud; he will not be guilty, even if he gets into the slums, where he will have to share the litter with the horses. And why didn’t you explain to him that all these columns of digits of the notice of non-payment of debts? And how did he know that anonymous letters made up of cut out printed words “pay”, “or”, “you” and “die” mean a threat of murder? And anyway, what are you still sticking out here? He left you, right? And just don’t say that you are still with him because he’s a damn lucky bastard. Sagittarius knows this. Who is he, in your opinion? Idiot?

If you threw it

It takes time for your words to reach him. Therefore, on the first day, start with the word “you”, on the next day say “free”, and on the third day, nail it with the phrase “stupid donkey”.

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Capricorn (22.12 to 20.01)

No matter what they say, Capricorn takes relations with a woman seriously. Endowed with the heart of the usurer, the humor of the undertaker, and the sensitivity of the tax inspector, Capricorn takes everything without exception seriously.

His intentions regarding your person are extremely noble. He is hardworking and ambitious. He wants to get married and support his family. In his case, there is no problem either with understanding or with the embodiment of the idea of ​​devotion. He will even be faithful to you – although there may be nuances, because he is a man.

When you get to know him better, you will find that he is endowed with the charm and manners of a cash register . (Well, you can’t expect that it combines all of the above advantages and a bright personality). However, before jumping from wild delight at the thought that you will spend time with him, you should learn about one obstacle. Before taking you away at sunset to prepare joint financial statements, he must check your credit rating. No, this is not a joke. He never jokes when it comes to money. He never jokes at all, so go and think.

If you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth (and not even one) and have an indecently large fortune, you will be happy (and he may even smile) all the way to the bank for the sake of opening a joint savings deposit. Just do not think that Capricorn became interested in you because of your inheritance. Such an idea of ​​his nature is completely wrong. You win your money in the lottery, earn hard work or successful investments, you will still use his attention.

It is unfair to say that only money matters to Capricorn. He is not without human qualities and understands that your money alone will not ensure his happiness. Therefore, Capricorn equally values ​​your social status. Of interest to him are not only your accounts, but also who you work with, who you know, who your parents are, what their condition is, who they meet and what you all can do for him. And you always thought that men need only one thing. One way or another, he does not at all seek to find the love of his life. He first came to this idea in early childhood, when he was hiding in the pillows of his parent’s bed. And will remain true to himself. And then, marriage has nothing to do with love – it is designed to make money.

Thanks to Capricorn, there are still boarding houses of noble maidens. You probably know such educational institutions with a surprisingly traditional bias. These institutions accept rich and smart girls, turning them into completely useless creatures suitable only for marriage. And since marriage is the only evidence of the successful completion of the boarding house by the wealthy heirs, these incredibly expensive and, as a rule, Swiss schools take on the heavy responsibility of selecting a partner for Capricorn.

The cost of training is such that only very wealthy and socially successful citizens can afford to send their daughters here. This circumstance completely excludes the presence of unwanted candidates in such institutions. Meanwhile, girls who meet the relevant requirements are working hard, eradicating any crazy thoughts from them about gender equality or about themselves.

To begin with, you will be taught how to cook dishes that require a multi-day or even multi-week stay in the kitchen, and the result of your work can be destroyed in a few seconds. Lessons of this kind are designed so that after marriage you are not sitting idle; in addition, thanks to the knowledge you have gained, you will be able to impress when you have to arrange dinner parties for business partners of your bastard Capricorn.

Then you will learn to cultivate in yourself (or pretend to be educating) a love of art, the ability to understand politics and international relations in order to maintain an intellectual conversation, while preparing and serving guests. At evening parties, you can even translate agreements for your husband into one of the five main European languages ​​that you have learned in the hostel classes. As for the rules of etiquette … When a representative of the president’s family comes to you and you have to solve the problem of how to properly seat the hotel magnate or a screen star, remember that it was you who passed in the first year of training. After all, you were then taught an introductory course on the program “Placement at the Dining Table of Rock Stars, Important Public Persons, and Financial Bigwigs”.

Along with the disciplines “How to lose a tennis to a man, without giving him reason to suspect that you intentionally lost, so as not to infringe on his pride”, “The art of table setting II (Advanced course)”, “How to gracefully tolerate a condescending attitude towards yourself ”And with countless other vital items, you will be taught to move, talk and dress properly. You will also master the needlework technique – with a bias in embroidery. It is unknown, however, why it is needed.

The most important thing that these institutions give you is the opportunity to meet other indecently rich and thoroughbred girls and become their friends forever. You do not have to like them – just kiss the air next to their cheeks for the rest of your life. They, like you, will all polls marry the Capricorn bastards, with whom you will introduce your bastard Capricorn, then all the Capricorn bastards will form a club where they will be able to compare their incomes, cars and penises as much as they like (they call it the “exchange of experience” ) Naturally, you were ordered to go there, since you do not have a penis, and since you are married to the bastard Capricorn, you will be allowed to approach it only at the end of the financial year – and only if this year is successful.

So, you graduated from your school of horizons (and cut off on your nose that you can’t be too skinny, too rich, too blonde and too tanned) and now you can fully play the extremely important role of a servant that meets Capricorn’s whims. You have become an ideal wife: your skills and abilities are in absolutely no demand, and therefore you can only help your husband’s career. In other words, you will get tired of everything to death – living in an ideal home with your ideal husband and ideal children. A bored rich blonde from high society. With such a life, after all, it is possible and into whom to fall, right? No one will notice the change.

In the circles of more qualified astrologers about Capricorn, two beliefs are widespread. Firstly, they gossip that deeply deep in him lies the romantic soul of the poet. In our opinion, this is almost impossible to believe. Secondly, it is believed that Capricorn, having realized his financial and secular ambitions, will retire and turn into a big jovial. We can neither confirm nor deny such claims of astrologers, because, in our opinion, life is too short to live with the bastard Capricorn.

If he left you

This is a good sign. So he begins to take you seriously. Capricorn will begin to discuss the conditions of separation. Let your daddy reconsider the issue of dowry, and then come back with a counter offer.

If you threw it

He has a strong enough financial position to survive this. Everything is spelled out in the premarital contract: in case of divorce, the dowry is not refundable. As for the rest of the inheritance, he just has to marry another heiress and retire.

Bastards by zodiac signs. Female look at men. Continuation

Aquarius (01.21. To 19.02)

Aquarius is the most intelligent of all the bastards you will meet on your journey. He will even agree with you that he is a bastard. If he has an abominable nature from birth, then he is a bastard by definition, and if you want to call him that for some other, deeper reasons, he will certainly recognize your point of view.

And he – unlike other bastards and professional astrologers – will not consider this article as nonsense of amateur astrologers. According to him, every opinion deserves attention and every worldview system has a right to exist. Well, for the sake of completeness, we note that he is defiantly handsome (this is where your ability to maintain objectivity will be needed). Let us leave aside its attractiveness – tolerance and breadth of views also present certain problems. And besides, the problems are of a completely different kind than those to which you are accustomed. After spending several years with men who did not listen to you at all, because the TV was turned on, a football match was going on or the refrigerator was working loudly, you would be absolutely unprepared for life with Aquarius.

Standard forms of manipulation by men (for example, heartbreaking screams or the decision to deprive him of sex) do not work in the case of Aquarius. He is a more ambiguous and complex person than the average bastard. When normal boys assembled a spaceship controlled by a small astronaut from the Lego designer, the baby of Aquarius was seriously occupied with the secrets of life. It is true that he got information from television programs and comics, but he sincerely tried to unravel the hidden meaning of life. The only concern is that he sought depth and truth in television series and will now regale you with their meaningful thoughts.

The years of his growing up are marked by oddities and an eccentric, which has turned an adult Aquarius into an adherent of radical views. It’s as simple as being a radical. There is no need to be faithful to any belief system, as, say, poor communists do. Aquarius accepts one or another ideology, based on his mood and circumstances. He is happy as long as his current value system allows him to be in opposition to the generally accepted point of view – for example, that you are striving for marriage.

All his views are formed on the basis of contradiction. If all those around become radicals, leftists, feminists, separatists, “greens” and hang a ring in their nose, Aquarius will turn into a communist. The only thing he hates even more than conservatism is to do the same as everyone else. He is proud of his distinction from others.

Thus, the views of Aquarius on romantic relationships run counter to generally accepted conventions and are completely beyond understanding. Mutual obligations, you see, impede the development of the personalities of both partners. Marriage is a relic of the state religion and in the modern world is nothing more than a scrap of paper. Love (like money) should serve for the benefit of everyone and everyone, and not be locked in the bins of a miser who spends it only for one person.

Of course, that only person, and this is you in this case, may have his own thoughts on this matter. Theoretically, the views of Aquarius are wonderful. There is nothing wrong with considering each person as a free and responsible person who independently chooses his own path in life. It’s just that all this is not particularly warm and inspiring. And besides, it creates certain practical difficulties. Say, do you like living in a van with a couple of three kids?

Of course, you will come to the conclusion that Aquarius: on some other, absolutely unattainable level. However, he does believe in love. In universal love. An elevated sense of compassion for all people on Earth, uniting them for the greatest of humanity. Selfless altruistic feeling … (sorry, here we have to stop, otherwise it becomes somehow uncomfortable). Of course, Aquarius loves you. Aren’t you the same inhabitant of the Earth like everyone else? How can he not love you?

The behavior of Aquarius is due exclusively to noble and humane motives. You seem selfish and insensitive special, putting your own interests much higher than the interests of other people. Be ashamed! Say, when was the last time you dug a well for a village in a Third World country? However, at times from such a pompous rhetoric you will be swept by a vague feeling that all this is a skillful lie that covers Aquarius’s fear of personal relationships.

The bastard of Aquarius cannot even be convicted of discrimination on the basis of sex – he will put you in an unsightly form here. He read all the books that you purchased to decorate your shelf. He will mark all your criticism, declaring it the result of the feminism of the humiliated and offended, which today has gained strength and threatens the real feminist movement.

Face it: Aquarius is more a feminist than you yourself. He has been pondering over the male paradox for years (that is, the question of how to be a man full of testosterone and still be a decent person). From here comes the diplomatic, non-binding behavior with you. In fact, Aquarius is trying to compensate for all the damage that men caused to women. The less time he spends with you, the less likely that he will humiliate your gender, treating you like a free domestic slave, because men are naturally inclined to do this. And Aquarius will not be guilty of treating you as an object of sexual lust, since he only comes into intimate relationship with you from time to time. In return, he will direct his male instinct at once to several creatures of the weaker sex, in each of them, seeing a woman, and thus weaken the destructive effect of creatures of male nature. See how he cares about you? Do you still not feel any gratitude?

If not, then don’t even think to incline your bastard Aquarius to your point of view, because in high school you weren’t the captain of the discussion club team. Just adopt a child from the shelter, cuddle with a tree, save rabbits, take part in protests against any activity, and go with the flow. If you want to get rid of your bastard Aquarius, buy fruit in a plastic bag, wear furs and exclaim how cool it would be to be as thin as the kids in the Third World, only they have flies, heat and devastation there.

If you threw it

He will take it philosophically and decide that in any case, everything is for the best. Nevertheless, Aquarius will ask you a question whether you can remain friends and never understand why you slammed the door, dropped the telephone receiver or shot it, aiming from the knee.

Bastards by zodiac signs. Female look at men. Continuation

Pisces (02/20 to 03/20)

To put it delicately, Pisces are pathological liars. Those who do not believe us, we propose to pass this small test.

1. Your favorite bastard Fish always looks directly in the eye when answering several provocative questions. Well no?

2. He never shies away from answers to provocative questions, even if there is a favorable opportunity to do otherwise. Well no?

3. He declares that he loves you madly, and at least one of his actions serves as a proof of these words. Well no?

If you answered “Yes” to any of the above questions, then you are not meeting with the bastard Fish. Or you yourself are none other than the bastard Fish, and you did this test only to prove our wrong.

Since Pisces are located at the very outskirts of the Zodiac, they are often imagined as a kind of astrological trash. That is, it turns out that the bastard Pisces has a little bit of the bastards of all the other signs of the Zodiac, and therefore, this makes him a twelve-fold bastard. In turn, this circumstance means that he must lie for a while, so that you never know the terrible truth.

When we first meet a man kind to the heart, we naturally try to seem different than what we really are. After all, otherwise we will not have a date. However, Pisces sins against the truth incomparably more than all others. Suppose that you, the railway inspector, impersonate the driver. This is called a big exaggeration. And Fish, meanwhile, will pretend to be a machinist and pretend that this is a really interesting job. This distortion of the truth is called a blatant lie.

The bastard Fish is lying in order to embellish his own person. This should not be confused with a lie for salvation – that is, with words designed to spare your feelings (although how he can confuse his ass with your feelings is an absolute mystery to us).

You will blame Fish for having bought a house with his former girlfriend, and he will deny everything even when you wave a contract where the names of Pisces and his former passion are indicated. The bastard Fish will say that the real estate agent apparently made a mistake by typing in his last name. When you look into his eyes with complete disbelief, he finally confesses, but says that he bought the house by accident. Here you will laugh sarcastically, and Fish will yell that it’s not his fault, but only you, and besides, his ex-girlfriend made him do this.

However, reaching out for a gun will be prompted by the completely senseless and constant enemies of the bastard Pisces. He will say that he watched the author’s film, although he actually overslept the whole session. He will claim that he ate a cheese and tomato sandwich, while he was with cheese and ham. Why? But who knows? We are not psychologists. This question is best addressed to them.

From birth, the gifted liar and rogue, the bastard Fish, fortunately, did not receive a good memory from God. Therefore, shamelessly deceiving everyone right and left, then he would never remember exactly how he acted, with whom he did exactly that, and, most importantly, why he did this to her. And therefore, you will always be able to bring the Fish to clean water.
Of course, the sooner you show discernment, the sooner you will see the gaping gap between fact and fiction, and the sooner you will drop the bastard Fish. Because, having exposed it and having experienced from it excitement, you will be indignant at a role of the walking lie detector working from dawn to dawn.

Naturally, the bastard Fish lies only when it opens its mouth. That is why he is usually not talkative. The fish understands that if it is silent, it will not tell any fables – and in this way will provide itself and you a respite.

Unfortunately, this means that Pisces will never be around if you really need it. Do not be upset if he forgets about the birthday of your firstborn. The fish either gets stuck somewhere along the road, because it never occurred to him to fill the car with gasoline (by the way, gasoline is a much more real and tangible thing than the bastard Fish himself), or he will deliberately ignore this event, fearing, as if You did not leave him to sit with the child.

By nature, the bastard Fish is a clear loser. So why not kill him right away? Well, if only because his life sentence is still subject to appeal. In addition, it is necessary to take into account public outrage – after all, whatever one may say, but everyone loves the bastard Fish. He is so damn sweet and kind to the point that Mother Teresa herself would be forced to sprinkle ashes on her head. It is not surprising that soon, you will become like an enraged Lucretius Borgia, and meanwhile your chosen one will still pretend to be a sanctuary.

And here you should find out the whole truth: Fish so long and often think about their sensitivity and care that they almost never have enough time to put these qualities into practice. That is why your chosen one is so tolerant and pleasant. He never criticizes your shortcomings – because otherwise you will do the same towards him (and you will do so sooner or later).

Let’s be honest: the passive-aggressive behavior of the bastard Pisces in its strength overshadows the patience of Gandhi. Pisces’s innate ability to sit and be silent for years on end means that all decisions must be made by others. That is you. And he secretly likes it. Especially when such decisions harm him (for example, when you abandon him) and he becomes a complete martyr. And what else will give him the right to feel sorry for himself and cause the same feeling in everyone else?

“All the rest” are ex-wives and girlfriends with whom Fish did not completely break, because he hates parting with the past. Git Fish – a spilled Box. He keeps some photos, the lion’s share of love correspondence and almost all absolutely worthless nonsense. Traditional astrologers mistakenly consider such behavior evidence of an extremely romantic nature. Perhaps here we are missing something, and then it is worth recognizing that all this romanticism Fish hides deep in itself. Do not expect that you will be seduced by luxurious bouquets, perfumes or wedding rings – he will just be shamelessly lying, and you will be exposed. You will get nothing but sentimental fiction.

Impartially considering all the sources (yes, we received information through the most authoritative channels), we responsibly declare: there is nothing surprising in the fact that the bastard Fish is reputed to be the most notorious smoothie in the whole Universe. Trying to forget it, you will read a lot of books on auto-suggestion and self-healing. For starters, we recommend the following:

“Sit back in a chair. Take a deep breath and count to ten. Now you feel calmer – so imagine that you still love the bastard Fish … Come on, damn it! ”The quote is taken from the book of Lang and Raji“ Hypnotherapy Course: How to part with the ill-fated bastards ”, published in 2002.

If he left you

The bastard Fish wouldn’t do that, for such a step would mean that he would have to be responsible for his behavior. On the contrary, he will arrange everything so that you do it for him – that is, he will behave like an invisible man; then it will seem to you that you are no longer meeting with him, and therefore nothing bad will happen if you sleep with another. This will give the bastard the Fish the right to feel unhappy and rush into the arms of all his former passions in order to come to terms with fate.

If you threw it

You skillfully play along with his victim complex. Portraying self-sacrifice, Fish will spend his free time with you, follow you in an inconspicuous car. For the first time, he himself will start calling you on the phone, but hang up the phone as soon as you answer. Fish will take a serious risk for the first time in their life hitting the balcony of your apartment without the help of an elevator or stairs. You only need one thing: to tell him that you love him, everyone has forgiven him and want to be the mother of his children. You will never see him again. Rely on us.

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